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Stressed - 2004-06-27 Nick at Nite - 2004-06-25 Think Good Thoughts! - 2004-06-22 Turning Weakness Into Strength - 2004-06-20 Appearance - 2004-06-20 2003-06-29 - 9:17 p.m. - Envy These entries are getting progressively more difficult to begin. I'm not sure what kind of delivery I want to give. In writing, to peak interest, the opening line is considered the most important. It should set the mood for the piece. But, as usual, I have no idea what mood I want to set for this. Well, the trip to Minot was, if nothing else, revealing to me as far as my character goes. It also tells me that I'm not nearly as happy as I've been pretending to be. But what do you do? I don't feel horrible, but after seeing...well no, it's probably best to set the mood. My friend in Minot has the perfect life, and I've told her that. She's got a nice place, a great group of friends that operates for the most part drama-free, and she has the best boyfriend...damn, I envy her so much. I couldn't tell her that, I guess, but I would've liked to. And her other guy friend that was there was probably one of the hottest guys I've seen...ever...I could definitely wake up to that every morning. I think I need to get out more. I just wish I could be more myself-y around more people, but sometimes, I really wonder. I know my friend from Minot couldn't take it...we've firmly established this. And I'm not so sure a lot of my friends around here would be okay with it...but that's my big problem. I don't have enough faith in my friends. I really should have more, but I'm just afraid of how things could turn out...isn't that always the case? I want to be me. I want them to be okay with it. I want to not be alone all the time anymore. Blah. The trip itself was pretty uneventful. The wedding was short and sweet--kind of unique in itself, but appropriate. It also made me envious, seeing them all happy and nice-y...I know that on occasions such as that, it is expected for me to be gracious and fulsome on my wishes for the happy couple...and I am. But I still wish for it too. My car was being weird...at one point, whenever I turned the blinker on, the door chime would sound every 2 blinks...it was strange. It's interesting how a lot of my possessions get attitude-y at one point or another. I also discovered that one should not drink PowerAde on long road trips. I think in a 5 hour trip, I had to pee 4 times, and that wasn't cool. Okay, well I think I should sleep. Lots and lots of driving make me tired...peace.
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